I find the current debate among those of “us” of African descent in the Diaspora about our use or misuse of the term/word “nigger” very interesting. There are two polar points of view. One, don’t use the word, it’s derogatory and perpetuates racism and self-hate. The other is that by using the word we are taking away it’s power to hurt and demean “us” and also we are taking away the ownership from of its’ former masters. So is it now just a word? Remember the nursery rhyme: “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me!” I decided to put these differing theories to the test and use “so-called derogatory” names to refer to my wife and see what happens. It’s all about context right? She knows I am madly in love with her and words are just symbols which codify our conceptual references…. right? I want to see if she will take possession of the words and re-define their meaning so that they become words of endearment. I want to see how she will navigate through the process of re-creating the social environment, so that the conditions which create those who are refered to by these names, will be eliminated or at least reduced. So with positive anticipation I awaited the opportunity to put these hypothesizes to rigorous real life experimentation.
Well I’m down in my basement watching the football game: USC vs UCLA. I’m getting all hyped up, yelling at the t.v. at points and I am getting thirsty. I shout up to my wife: “YO HOE! CAN YOU GET ME A GLASS OF COKE PLEASE BITCH!” Now please have a little patience with me, ‘cause everything I remember after this is a little sketchy. I remember a feeling…. somewhat like “terror”…. associated with an unnatural silence…. and that time had literally “stood still”…. then I heard what could be only be described as a “screech”. Have you ever heard of the term “screaming like a Banshee?” I don’t know what a “Banshee” is and I’m sure I have never heard one scream… but that is the thought that came to my mind when I heard that sound…. it as a “blood-curdling screech”…. then suddenly there were flashes of light…. like the colours of a rainbow…. then I remember darkness…. no…. more like stillness…. I can only describe it as cold, lifeless stillness…. then all of a sudden, I was on a beach…. I was in a haze but the sky was very dark and I saw a light…. and as I was approaching this light I saw a man who I took to be Jesus…. he had this incredulous look on his face as I approached and he was “shaking his head”…. it was like he was saying “nigga, what were you thinking?!”.… then to the left I saw another light…. so I headed towards it and I saw a man who I took to be Satan…. he just turned his back on me when I approached…. at this point I think I heard someone yell…. from what seemed from very far away: “HOLD ON BUDDY! WE’RE ALMOST THERE! YOU CAN MAKE IT!!! JUST HOLD ON!!!!”
The doctors said the operations were mostly successful. They were able to remove my balls from my throat and my tongue from up my ass and re-attach them. They said that after a while I probably won’t notice the limp or lisp. The police said that they have decided not to charge my wife as “there would be no reasonable chance of a conviction.” They are still looking into charging me though…. but “stupidity” isn’t a statutory offence. Plus I think deep down they feel sorry for me. Oh yeah…. the doctors also said that they will be able to unwire my jaws by December 23rd. I’m happy about that! I want to greet my Mother on December 25th with “MERRY CHRISTMAS CUNT!!” I hope she has a better appreciation of the rationality of these arguments than my wife. It’s all about context right!? My Mother knows I love her dearly and words are just symbols which codify our conceptual references…. right?
Anyway…. I need to take some more meds and go lie down again.